Give it until your body breaks.

I’m a mess right now.  My ulcerated stomach hurts; the gnash-gnawing pain is keeping me up at night.  I’m living on very small sporadic meals, rice protein shakes, and vitamins.  Still, I’m taking full advantage of my weakened appetite and hitting the gym harder to lose a few pounds of fat and pull myself closer to being in perfect shape for my 30th birthday.  Kind of sick, I know.  I feel like a model that swallows a tapeworm to stay thin.  This shit stops today.  After all, I’m far too old and too dark to develop an eating disorder.

And….I lost a friend this week.  A very important and close friend.  I lost him, but he’s still alive.  Just dead to me.

Continue reading “Give it until your body breaks.”